Just listen to me?

I have a dense structural way of thinking. Which means I think logically but my logic runs in larger networks. The decision making has been broken down into too many steps. This is not over thinking. This is just the way the mind thinks when you feel too much about every rational evaluation.

This sounds rather contradictory and I am aware I am doing great injustice to these concepts and theories by synthesising them into something even I can not fully explain. But this is just my ongoing attempt to condense my own thoughts and emotions into some defined framework. So keep criticism at bay and have a conversation.

I get beaten down for the way I approach ideas way too often. I have understood that I am able to communicate and sustain this approach with a lot of people who are truly emotional, empathetic beings. The unfortunate thing is that a huge percentage of emotional human beings happen to be women. When you have been exposed, at every step your life to every adverse word, action and expression imaginable, it forces you to absorb the impact and calm yourself down – it makes you confront a lot of complex emotions.

And therefore I do not believe that women are emotional because of some biological tendencies. There is a systemic abuse, so subtly skewed towards women, that it requires a rather difficult strategy for mental survival. And it is often done through managing ones emotions.

For example the subject of body when seen explicitly, is equally challenging for men and women both. We are all judged for how we look. But women have a consciousness of their bodies beyond the external gaze. It is often realised in the discussion of her ability to bear a child. This is an entire realm of emotion which the male can not perceive, in fact, because of the differences of biology, but in truth because of the suppression of the female voice.

The continuation of dismissal of women’s thoughts, is most definitely the dismissal of an emotion a human is capable of feeling – a dismissal that is neither proven nor observed to be greatly detrimental to anyone but herself. There is a reason why women are taking more anti-depressants than ever. No its true. Women are 2.5 times more likely to be taking anti-depressants than men. And any comfortable acceptance of that fact, well in my mind at least, is a defeat for humans as a species – if you still insist on thinking that this is about biology.

(2018)

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