I am not sure anymore how to feel, what to believe.
The happiness in the moment overcomes me entirely, making me confused about why I feel any misery ever at all.
I am forced to acknowledge this emptiness. An emptiness I think I need to fill so I am always chasing something unknown.
But there is nothing missing. Nothing at all is missing. What am I trying to find?
I am overwhelmed by how difficult life has been. I find it unfair that there’s always this insurmountable pain which has just been mine to bear. I don’t have a lot of hope of ever relieving myself of it; of letting go of my past emotion and memories. I just try and forget it in the present so I can actually live what I am doing.
I feel too broken to be put back together. I feel too brilliantly powerful that I am alive. There’s no in-between.