Songs come to mind. I sing them to the night with no hope. When has love ever been enough? My friend makes me a cheese sandwich so maybe I’ll forget about this night. The same old drivel, why we can never find what we seek.
How do I stop my dreams? Too far out into our universe I got to be. Suddenly screaming “are you here? is this happening?” Dreams about being loved back. To receive a sliver of a fantasy.
Murdered my expectations, only to get new ones in the mail. Someone sent you a gift. Here, do you like this? Yeah, yeah I do. I never imagined this. There’s a world where this grows naturally? Where is this land, I want to go to there.
Like they say, out of the blue. From somewhere in the sky, a thing flew by. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No girl, it’s Superman. He’s come to save you! We were waiting for the pigs to fly, so well atleast a man has. Wait. He’s just going over there to his cave. What? Hey, take me with you! Now I am stuck here in the middle of nowhere. My ride wants to be a monad.
“Every man wants to be an island and I love the beach” laugh out loudly. We sit and curse because well, what is so wrong about that? Can life not be one long vacation? Oh right, you can afford a 20k package but you dream like you’ve got millions. Did the island remind you of your misery again? Ofcourse. Cruelty is it’s own expertise.
“You can not make everyone happy”. Actually Sir, I can not make myself happy and other people are quite happy with me being miserable. I only know how to work with no hope. So I have dug graves and potholes in this reality. You will identify them easily since you’re blessed to have such a wonderful view from your mansion. I live on the road staring at tall buildings. You are in the penthouse, jerking off to the sky.
“Did you fall in love with a boy again?” Yeah. Yeah I did. But I guess like always, it’s my fault. I didn’t know how to love right. Should’ve just let myself be walked over by a god. There’s no place in history for a woman with dreams. Be the receptacal for a man’s brilliance. Align your yoni. Unfortunate for you that your life’s been forgotten as anything significant. Take the handout. Love for you is a welfare scheme.
How do people just have it all? They are well mannered. They make the right moves. They lead with love. You lead with your misery. How will you ever get what you need? Do you imagine that someone will rescue you? There are no saviors. Your boat flips in the middle of the ocean, so the people on the promised land can read about it to feel some sympathy. Humanity is fighting an uphill battle surely.
Well I guess we’ll learn how to swim. We get to enjoy the view before we drown. As we sink, we’ll still imagine someone stretching a hand to pull us out. After all, you have to believe love comes, out of the blue.
What do you call this sort of resilience? This alacrity to keep going even without hope?
Incurable romantics. Damn straight.